Who We Are in Spite of Our

[Pixieglitter]

This is a wonderful group of kind people who genuinely care about each other. For me it's a kind of "therapy group." No matter what I post about anything, I always receive compassion and understanding from all of you, and for that I'm truly grateful.

On another thread, several of us started talking about something that sounds so simple: Having a clean spotless home. Some of you probably think, "What's the big deal?" For some of us it is a huge deal! I suspect a lot of you know exactly what I'm talking about, and it really has nothing to do with the dirt that no one else can even see.

Some of the posts on the other thread made me realize that there are many of us here who went through a lot of hardships when we were growing up. We did what we had to do as kids. There were many things that affected our young lives in a traumatic way, and those same experiences ended up shaping us into the grown adults we are today, even decades later.

xoxo
Shelley

[DinahRoberts]

Oh Shelley you are so right about it shaping us into the people we are today. I used to care more about what my house looks like but now I'm more concerned with my relationships with others than that. I feel that is way more important now...at least to me.

[MeerKat]

How true that is, we don't know what others have had to go through are what they are going through now. Everything effects us differently.

[twinfaye]

Yes, you can hear about how financially set some people are buying a new car and home and you think how lucky they are until you also hear that they never had a new car before and always wanted a home of their own but they never had one and now they do. I'm trying to say that we never know how hard the path was for someone. Thanks for this thread! I know my childhood has effected me deeply.

[Trude]

This is a good idea thread. We care for one another, and sharing is sometimes cathartic. Especially when a person knows that there will be no backlash, or mockery, or judgement. This is one of the things I love about CT. I am so glad to have found you all.

[DinahRoberts]

Yes, you can hear about how financially set some people are buying a new car and home and you think how lucky they are until you also hear that they never had a new car before and always wanted a home of their own but they never had one and now they do. I'm trying to say that we never know how hard the path was for someone. Thanks for this thread! I know my childhood has effected me deeply.

Faye I have a man at church that has been trying to help my mother and I get our finances straightened out. Long story short, he told my mother that when I bought my car I should have just bought a used one. What he doesn't seem to understand is I will have to live on social security disability until I die and this is probably the last car I can get. I wanted a car that was going to last me for a long while. Of course there is also the fact that as a man he doesn't understand the way I think too. I have problems with being judged when someone doesn't know the whole story. Just like the looks I get for parking in handicapped spaces, just because I look fine on the outside doesn't mean I am fine.

[Trude]

That seems to be the way it is. People judge only by what they can see on the outside. They have no idea what is actually going on. I am positive that I do it as well. However, I try to catch the thought before it can be completed.

[twinfaye]

Some days I wonder if I should let someone else have the handicapped parking spot but then I say I deserve to use it or I wouldn't have the tags. I wish all the people who don't really need the help got the karma that is coming to them when I could see it.

[BarbySue]

I'm a firm believer in Karma. Sometimes I just wish the what goes around part would come around quicker for some people. I know that isn't very nice of me. But I think that is the honest part of me speaking out. It isn't that I wish harm on people but I do think they should have to answer for their evil deeds.

[Pixieglitter]

As women, we tend to carry so much guilt! Why should we feel guilty if we buy a new car, and that we have to explain it to people we barely know? Why do we feel like we have to please others, in every way, even strangers? Like Faye feeling guilty for parking in a handicapped space (our Faye who was in so much pain yesterday). She deserves to park there just like everyone else who needs to!

Seven years ago I traded in my mini van for a Mustang convertible. I was 42 years old and it was one of the first nice things I'd ever done for myself. I could afford it and I worked very hard to be able to buy it. And then the overwhelming guilt set in. After I bought it I couldn't bring myself to drive around with the top down. I felt like everyone would look at me and think I was showing off. I still have that car, and I still don't drive it with the top down. I hide inside it when I'm driving so no one will judge me. Why should I care what the other drivers on the road think about me?

Shelley