Thanks: 0
Likes: 20
-
02-14-2013, 07:42 PM #1
Jokes, Humor and Every Day Funnies
I wanted to start a thread where anyone can post a joke or something funny that happens in your daily life... I'm gonna start with Ponderings
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?~Tammy~
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 6 Likes
-
02-14-2013, 07:46 PM #2
Cute - this are definitely things to think about! LOL
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 LikesLandon liked this post
-
02-15-2013, 12:05 AM #3
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 5 Likes
-
02-15-2013, 07:29 PM #4
chuckle, chuckle... bringing more laughter and" think time" to our lives! Luv it!
Kindness begets kindness. Enjoy life!
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 2 Likesjustplainjudy, Landon liked this post
-
02-16-2013, 09:43 AM #5
More Ponderings
Life is sexually transmitted.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which we die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a Slinky .... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
We can all learn a lesson from the weather: it pays no attention to criticism.
Why does a 'slight' tax increase cost you $200.00, and a 'substantial' tax cut saves you $30.00?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.~Tammy~
-
02-16-2013, 10:14 AM #6
2 dyslectic men walked into a bra.
I wanted to buy a pair of camouflage pants but I couldn't find any.
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likesboopie liked this post
-
02-16-2013, 10:19 AM #7
A man is in a hospital ward and a doctor walks by. The man asks: "Are my testicles black"?
The doctor looks, says no and walks off .
Another doctor walks by and the man asks: "Are my testicles black"? The doctor looks and says "No, they look ok to me".
The nurse walks in and the man asks: "Are my testicles black"?
The nurse responds: "Mr. Smith, please, put in your teeth so I can understand you".
So in go his teeth and he asks:
"Are my test results back"?
I love this joke, it is my all time favourite!!
[ATTACH=CONFIG]3358[/ATTACH]Last edited by Landon; 02-16-2013 at 10:22 AM.
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 Likesboopie liked this post
-
02-17-2013, 01:52 PM #8
A Pondering:
Why do more people flock to bad news, but tend to stay away from good news?(original pondering by muah!)~Beverly~Last edited by Butterflyrose; 02-17-2013 at 01:58 PM.
Kindness begets kindness. Enjoy life!
-
02-17-2013, 02:23 PM #9
-
02-19-2013, 05:31 PM #10
Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.~Tammy~
-
Post Thanks / Like - 0 Thanks, 1 LikesLandon liked this post