Any caregivers here?

[Butterflyrose]

I'm my sweet hubby's primary caregiver with our older daughter being my #1 assistant. Without her assistance, it would be impossible for my hubby to be at home unless we pay for help. Our younger daughter helps whenever possible. We are so blessed!

Are there any other caregivers here? How do you manage? What lifestyle changes have occured? Who are your supporters? When do you find "me time"?
Tips for being a caregiver? Let's share and help each other!

[Barbara G.]

For me, I am the main caregiver of my children. Our schedules are hectic at times because I also homeschool them as a single parent. I know that you are probably looking for a different type of caregiver, but here I am. LOL Me time is pretty rare in my case - I do try to get out of the house on occasion.

[Kitty]

How did you transition to caregiver? My husband has functioned on his own and has just said he will teach me how he does bill-paying ( i know how to ,just not how HE has it arranged.

[MeerKat]

I was my husbands caregiver until he went into a nursing home.. I didn't know what me time was, I had to hire my husbands niece to get groceries for me, and staightened up the house.. Doing the bills was awful, my daughter came up and had all the bills direct pay or we wouldn't have any utilities, everything was late.. I didn't see our property tax bill, and I got a note saying our house would be sold for back taxes, they were only a month late and only $160.. I almost had a heart attach. My support group was the internet, I would have went nuts if it hadn't been for that.. My me time was when he went to sleep.. But it was all up to me, my daughter came up as often as she could, she has 4 kids.. She lives 500 miles from us. She wanted us to sell our house and move down there so she could help me but he wouldn't do it.. And during this time I lost my Mother and 6 months later my sister dies unexpectedly of heart attack..
You are lucky you have some help it will make it easier. It isn't easy but I came through it.. But it is only slightly more bearable with him in a Nursing Home.. But I do have more Me time..

[Landon]

Bless your hearts!! I am clueless on this, I have not had to care for any loved ones like yawl have. It has to be stressful! How do yawl keep it together? I am very impressed!! Yawl are ALL in my prayers!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

[Butterflyrose]

Barbara, being a mother is a full-time job! It isn't a job for the faint of heart. I am a mother with adult children and a retired teacher who also came home each day and taught my children to ensure they were receiving a proper education. My husband made it possible for me to have an active social life and I also was very involved in our children's social activities. I do understand how you are a woman who wears many hats! Kudos to you! "Me time" is very important for our well-being!

Kitty, there was no transistion time, it happened suddenly. I reacted quickly! I learned to do things that I'd never done before because he took care of the affairs that he should have as my husband. A Good Man he is!

Things that helped me:

* Prayer
* Organization
*Servant's heart
*Living in a state of Thanksgiving

Thankfully, I'm retired and have a servant's heart! I didn't leave my hubby's side for any great length of time 'til much later. I dwelled where he dwelled! I was called his private nurse by one of his nurses. I totally emerged my time and life in encouraging him, researching and learning all I could to help him. My daughter and I have advocated for him all the way.

My hubby was self-sufficient, driving daily and a very independent man. He ran my errands and my lifestyle was totally free to do as I chose. We had a very active life.

Our lifechanging journey began April, 2012. There have been many challenges. My hubby has been in several hospitals, rehab hospitals and care centers in 3 different cities seeking the BEST medical care. He's been home since Jan. 24; another time he was home Oct.-Nov. 10, 2012. We are people who believe in prayer and trust God in all things! We have a real testimony!

As our older daughter is her daddy's co-caregiver, she has suggested that a calendar with due dates be posted on the calendar and if you have physical bills you can date the envelope with the due date and place the bills in numerical order according to their due date. This is a job that she does well! I also bought a home finance bill organizer yesterday at Dollar General for $2.50. It has a pocket for each month with a ledger for due dates, expenses, amount and paid column. I've used one in the past and thought it would be excellent to use this method again.

[Kitty]

Meercat, you have my love dear. I know , this happened to my Mom. Bless you.Things will get better.

[Butterflyrose]

MeerKat, you are a very strong woman who God delights in. You are not alone. Thank God for Jesus! You have had great losses of loved ones that can only be imagined while facing your husband's challenge too. God bless you over and over again. Now, you must get some very much needed rest and relaxayion. I pray that someone comes into your life as a friend who'll be your support in every way needed.

To enlighten others:Many caregivers have not had to be responsible for ALL things because the responsibility was shared with the loved one: Because the loved one isn't in the home, the caregiver still has numerous tasks to perform: doing laundry and returning it to loved one, paying all bills, handle finances, car maintainance, home repairs, answering mail and calls, being available at a moment's notice to go to loved one, advocating for the loved one and in my case, bringing nutritious meals to my hubby at last care center. These are only a few of the many tasks performed. Remember, the caregiver still has to eat, bathe, dress, sleep and travel to be with his/her loved one.

****Crochet Talk friends, please pray for a friendship for MeerKat who will be her support in every way needed! Prayer does work!

[Butterflyrose]

Landon, I can maintain in the midst of adversity because I am a Praying Woman. I was born with a joyful spirit! God is a force to be reckoned with! He is in control of every situation and I trust Him. I pray and God answers! He brings me PEACE. My family support is amazing-daughters and daddy! My hubby has a few family members that visited, ran errands and would also bring him meals to the last care center. My hubby many times has been away in another city and we'd travel to be there. We are truly blessed! We have friends who have offered their help and we'll call on them when needed!

[redhead]

Landon, I can maintain in the midst of adversity because I am a Praying Woman. I was born with a joyful spirit! God is a force to be reckoned with! He is in control of every situation and I trust Him. I pray and God answers! He brings me PEACE. My family support is amazing-daughters and daddy! My hubby has a few family members that visited, ran errands and would also bring him meals to the last care center. My hubby many times has been away in another city and we'd travel to be there. We are truly blessed! We have friends who have offered their help and we'll call on them when needed!

Butterflyrose you are truly one of God's angels! I too believe in prayer. I will be asking for special prayer and will sit in at the altar for Meerkat when I am next in church. We have church on Saturdays We are 7th day Pentecostal, not Adventist, but I believe the name over the church door is not important...It's what is in each heart that counts. Maybe you wont all agree with me, that's alright... that is just my opinion. We sit in for others and gather around and pray for whoever is in need of prayer. So I will be sitting in for Meerkat Saturday evening!

I have never been a real caregiver for any length of time . I did take care of my Mother for a short time but she was not sick for long and went on to be with the Lord soon after I brought her home with me. Also my husband was sick for several months and our pastor was a very good friend to my husband and he came everyday to see Jim so I was able to work until shortly before he passed on. Also I have, for years kept a budget book that I write the bills in for the upcoming month. I then write them in my checkbook and almost all are automatically debited. That makes it so much easier for me, almost no checks and I don't have to run here and there making payments. They would surely be late if I had to do that. It is a big job to keep everything going from month to month. I guess I am blessed to have been the one who did the bill paying from day one of our marriage so it was nothing new to me when he passed. Anyway I just wanted Meerkat to know that she is loved and we all will keep her in our prayers!